Sushant Singh Rajput interview
succeed on one of the things that um as
I was sort of studying your journey one
of the things that's amazing about his
career is how often he stopped doing
things that give him security yeah to go
into things that are not secure and
probably very uncomfortable
oh so I want to go back a little bit to
the beginning you grew up in a
middle-class house with four older
sisters yes and you've talked a lot in
interviews about being a very shy child
who couldn't express himself um but then
discovered that he wanted to be an actor
so do you have a memory of the first
time you acted yeah uh way vividly
because there was the first time I was
actually saying something way
confidently in front of or in front of
strangers that was back in I think 2003
for with Betty Jean and there was this
play that I was doing and that was the
first time well that I experienced that
I can say something and I can influence
people in Harley I was I was in my first
year probably one of you guys that was
such a fascinating a feeling because I I
told myself well I can hide behind all
these interesting characters and I'll
tell everybody we are doing judge me
because it's not me when I play a
character I kind of find a way to fool
myself convince myself that I'm not
going with somebody else and that's such
a relief not well yourself I mean like
what do we do or everyday like we try
and project a personality that we think
we are and it's too much of an effort so
when you play a character is so much of
a relief not to play yourself with
somebody else and you actually get paid
for it
then you enrolled in an engineering
college where you pretty good academic
leaders but you dropped out because you
wanted to be an actor tell me about
where did you find the clarity to do
that and what did your parents say uh so
for 16 17 years of my life I somehow
convinced myself that I don't need to
speak because on at all well I had like
two three friends and
was very open with them but then that's
it because like you said I had forces
just I was so pampered and protected in
my family that why I should step out as
a kid I didn't know how to deal with
people so like why are they not treating
me as my family and they like they did
it was a complete contrast and I was
like okay let me not say anything that's
way safe so it happened for for 16 17
years of my life I told myself okay let
me be waiverable studies and that's how
I can have a place in society but I
think Shama was the first one who got me
into dancing on stage and I realized
that okay I can I can not say anything
and still exposition and and and perform
in a way that I can influence people in
some sort of a way and then he asked me
to join theater and the first play that
I did I was like wow what is this what
is exactly what I was missing to
communicate them like that's I think
that's the most important thing that we
miss or we want in our lives we want to
be understood by somebody else and when
you act that is what happens I mean like
when that resonance happens when you
feel something you you you connected and
they get it and that's the resonance
that happens and you feel so good about
it so I took three years into thinking
that okay is it just that I want to be
next shortcut or this dreams that man is
is wired
yes or it is is the thing that I'm doing
right now that excites me so much and I
was sure in the three years of doing
theater and I was like wow I'll be
wasting another year I'm doing and
generation three years of engineer yep I
was like just there two more semesters
and I would have been an engineer and
probably oh and we would have been a lot
sadder right
my dad will be very happy you still his
still talk Emily he still tells me all
the time that I know that you're doing
well and everything and I like you when
you act but tactically man you could
have Anita oh yeah
nobody I'm doing that like my
Engineering College it's a secret
between us my engineering colleges asked
me to come there and give a talk and
just interact with food and I I we
humbly requested them to give my degree
back heydo so they're there what's two
semesters between friends like this
considering here
so you're just there but tell me about
the day you made that decision and and
that clarity that comes with you know
you're this age and you say I'm almost
there an engineering degree it's such a
big thing in India how do you take that
call when you're that yeah I think most
of time most of the times I think we are
so conditioned into thinking that there
will be a day when we lose something and
that's where people will recognize who
you are and that will be the day but
then there is a thing in psychology
which we call impact bias where we have
this tendency of overestimating the
hedonic impact of anything that has to
do with the future so what we do what we
think is that okay if I get there that
is the same then everything will change
what if I fail then that's the end but
it doesn't happen like that like when I
was started making a lot of a lot of
money when I was into TV and money was a
big differentiator in my life by the way
and when people started recognizing me
over the first time it's a way strange
feeling but when they did I was feeling
away I was very excited I used to go to
malls and all so that people would just
be recognized I'm looking at but after a
point of time say about three months for
once you get used to it and you come
back to the same mental state so it is
not what would drive you for the rest of
your life no matter how successful you
are no matter how rich or recognize your
I think it's more it's not it's not
pursue of happiness it's the habit of
happiness so when you do what you want
to do you don't care what people say but
then you you which engineering he goes
into theater he goes into television
becomes extremely successful in
of it register yeah oh you know hey yeah
don't just it was if you were a big
television star you had money you had
Fame you had people in the more
recognized in you and then no guys and
then this is the kicker at the peak of
this television success he quits again
because he now wants to do something
else where does that come from see it
very it's not very easy but it's
comparatively easier to let's say say
engineering I'm not gonna do I'm gonna
pursue this but when you when you're in
a very comfortable State when when
you're successful how do you walk away
from success to pursue something that
you think will satisfy you
it's a very simple thing you just need
to stop and reflect what you're doing
that's it normally what happens is after
after such a strong momentum and
conditioning when we get what we want
we somehow find a way to fool ourselves
that this is what we want for the rest
of our lives but it's not the case if I
don't know how to go about my next
project that keeps me excited excited
like I'll give you an example the film
that was supposed to do in November
you got pushed because of some reason
and I had three months of free time
I think if Feb is then a very good time
in my next film study Abby haha so there
were three months of free time in
between I and they're like many film
office in between so I could have gone
for one of them but nothing excited me
so I'm doing a play right now
Hey yes so this is this guys who's
getting tickets first when is this play
when is it happening happen last week of
Jan and post we go Feb Deline weird
problem for three and and suvir's where
you guys can come and watch it oh what's
the song we still figuring out it's a
thing on more obvious two of us so come
and watch Utley so what I want to say at
this point of time is it's not that I'm
doing it to prove a point to somebody
else that I'm different because if you
do that and you become successful in
doing that you will have to put up with
a stranger all your life
so that is not what I'm trying to prove
it is just that that that's something
that that get gets me up 10 minutes
early in the morning you know way
excited way I don't know how to go about
it but but I want to get it get there so
it's it's the same thing that I have
followed since last failures probably
the same thing that happened in TV - I
was getting money everybody was like
very happy with me but I knew everyday
in the morning that what I was supposed
to do
it was just not no excitement it was
like wow it's I'm just wasting my time
so I didn't quit to get into films
because I may generally believe that
it's not an organic progression from
theater to TV to films it was just
because I wanted to go to UCLA - just to
know how to read the film so that I can
do it better as an actor and fortunately
I got Kuiper's and then that's how I
stayed back but between that time that
you stopped doing Patricia and you
landed i po che did you have like a dark
night of the soul some moment of
confusion anxiety insecurity but what
have I done
no nothing absolutely nothing and I say
it I really mean it when you have to
when you're continuously thinking what
people think of you is when the failure
is defined the success is defined your
your excitement is defined but if you're
just not concerned I'm not saying that
you should not just not be concerned
about what people say but when it has to
come with the work that you do that
equation between you and your work I
think nothing absolutely nothing should
interfere in that I always used to think
that there is one right way of doing it
and there are several wrong ways but in
that period I realized several right
ways of doing it and I was so probably
wrong in thinking what I thought how
long was this how long it was six months
so for six months you didn't know that
you would land a film but you were fine
Oh completely fine and I know that we
make sense when we in retrospect ssin
when we look back and we say oh that was
good that was bad but honestly believe
me those six months were were so good
because I would just sit and think
how the different ways that I can do the
same thing in a slightly better way so
that I feel better about it
you know dr. Banerjee who directed you
as BOM cash but she said that you have a
quiet arrogance that all actors should
hold on to um is that what gives you
clarity the clarity to stay at home for
six months and not sort of be insecure
probably yes because if you ask me right
now that what am i doing right to be in
the film industry I don't know let me be
very honest I just don't know I just do
what I want to do in a way that I really
think that I should go about but that's
about it if I don't get films next year
I would do a play or I would do I would
probably work in TV but you know you
know nice project I don't care if I
don't get any of these three things I
would buy a 5d camera I'll make a short
film I'll be the solo hero in that short
film I don't care it's just the equation
that I have with what I do
I just want to act so that there's some
relief in between so that I don't take
myself so seriously all the time that's
it tell me you you got into the film
industry which you know has now become
of course far far more professional
there corporates the studios there's
there's you know it's a very different
place from when I first started working
but it's still very much a family-run
business it is still no matter what we
think and what we say it is a very
nepotistic place um as an outsider how
difficult was it for you to negotiate
this it would be way right for me to say
anything about this because I got all I
all the things that I did and all the
things that I'm doing in next two years
these are the films that I really want
to do not because these were the best
offered to me but these are the films I
really want to do so I didn't have to
wait in between I got the films that I
wanted to do so I can't complain but it
doesn't mean that it's not there it is
there when you are successful in a way
that people recognize
your film does well at box-office when
you are successful as an outsider
you'll be discussed within a very hushed
tone and that's about it
and people are willing to just forget
about it and what if you're an insider
and you do win you're successful it's
multiplied by ten if you lose is divided
by ten so that's the mathematics but of
course you'll be affected when you are
trying to make a point to get a feedback
from from people around but I don't I'm
not saying that I don't care what you
feel when you watch my film because I do
care as I said that when that presidence
happens and when I do a kind of an
insinuation as an actor and I just I'm
just hoping that you get it and you get
it I feel very good about it but those
are the 10 days or 15 days of the
release of the film when I choose a film
when I prep for the film and I work for
the film I don't think about the
audience as well
you're not invested in box-office
success or failure I don't know people
who are invested in box-office success
in the industry that they claim to they
understand how it works because nobody
can guess I have still not found any
book that claims that this is how you'll
get hundred grows on your next road I've
read it all trust me but it doesn't it's
no formula there's no formula it's it's
only that after film does something we
sit down in a way nonchalant way and we
say this is why what happened so we try
to logically explain so it's always
defect and then we manufacture the cause
after that but not before that so nobody
knows what's going to happen so if this
is the case if this is the chaos let me
find a pattern there let me let me just
not care about it and let me be very
selfish into thinking that this is a
film I don't know the director nobody
knows a director but I like the script
and do that do you have any rituals that
you follow to hone your craft like I
read somewhere that when you start to
play a character you always find a song
for each character yes yes because I
tried to find a way I try
in reading many books but nothing helps
you know they tell you how to do the
research one of the things what is the
format and you do it but when you're in
front of the camera
you cannot play that research for some
reason I mean is there in your head but
it doesn't translate into what you do so
like okay that's not the way let me know
exactly how my character would feel at
that point of time and the best way to
do it I think is the rhythm also because
I think I started as a dancer so I get
the result great rhythm correct so so I
just somehow find a song for each and
every character of mine probably when I
tell it to you won't find any connection
between the two but somehow it tells me
that okay this is the rhythm of the
character and everything that I say
everything that I Lou
obviously there are like symbols similar
in between that will change it but
that's that's the bracket this is what
you tell us some brackets this is a I
was going through the YouTube songs of
EMS on Tony
and there was this South Indian song
which I don't understand but it was so
correct with the visuals I was like wow
so I don't understand it but I used to
hear it all the time but that was the
donee
character it is yes Wow
Tony is the 53rd character you played
across television screen hit oh yes and
I read about the amazing prep that you
did I mean watching over a thousand
hours of footage of Boni um training
with Kieran Mauryan you know practicing
one shot for just 300 times just keep
going keep going so your body language
is exactly right
talk a little bit Sushant about the
importance of that work ethic you know I
can't emphasize enough on how important
it is to really sweat and work hard and
here's somebody who does it in an
industry that doesn't always do it so
tell us more about that
I think hard something that that's like
the way we look at it it's not that
probably people tell me that all case
law for ten months
in the Sun
playing cricket all the time but it was
it was not hard work for me let me be
very very honest here okay i started
with signing a contract and saying that
i'm doing this film which is Tony's
biopic so what are what are the things
that I want to do so I have to be very
good at cricket I have to get his body
language intonation diction everything
correct and I need to somehow which was
the most difficult word was to
understand the guy so that even in the
scenes when I improvise something I
should be confident that it's not me
improvising but him so that was the most
difficult but so these two things that
people often talk about that you've got
the cricket crickets style correct by
the way the thing that is the face
replacement is not is the body
replacement I was the one playing all
the shot so these are the wave a
relatively easier things to do I like to
play cricket
I have was never very good at it I never
made it to my school team as well but
this was a time when I'm doing any of
that uh didn't make it your school team
what you can only and I started at the
district level failed cricket and my
face felt by the way in two years
becoming a captain of Indian cricket
team so here I'm getting the MS Dhoni
skit Kiran Marais is training me and
this was like wow this is what I wanted
to do I wanted to play more I wanted to
be like can can we play for another two
hours
so it was not hard work and that's
exactly what I want to say you know Anu
I think you would be playing those ps4
and Xbox games so when you play that at
that point of time you're so much
engrossed you're so much interested it
commands your attention so much that
you're just there and you just don't
care about what happens and then you
look at it and like walk three hours
thanks
so that is what it is time is so
subjective that when you enjoy doing
something that you do you don't get to
know that you're working so hard
somebody asked you sushant in an a in an
interview about becoming a star and you
said I don't know what that is and I
don't intend to become one are you not
at
seduced by the notion of stardom no if
you give it to me I keep it because I
don't know what I would do without it so
I'll just keep it but at the same time
if you don't give it to me I do miss it
because that's not something that I'm
looking forward to I'll be very honest
when I started that was the incentive I
was Am I
now you're back on yeah so that was the
intention that I was trying to give
myself into dropping out of the college
that you'll be a star one yeah be a star
I'll be the next that's it so I
convinced myself and I wanted that to
some extent just because I didn't had
those things all my 18 19 years of my
life nobody actually looked at me and
said that oh you exist nobody because I
was such an history whip into it and at
the same time although you're not that
poor or something but then money was a
differentiating each and every decision
that my family used to take and I
remember going a wanting to go to this
so University but I couldn't because I
didn't have that much money and I was a
small kid and I was like wow it's such
an unfair world because I can't lose
something that I want to do because I
don't have something that I possibly
cannot earn at this prototype so like
wow this way very important so when you
don't have it a small part of it can buy
a lot of things but after that point of
inflexion a lot we buy just a small
thing so that is the irony of it I
realized that thanks to TV because I got
that recognition I got money and I
realized wow that's it this is what I
was working for but thankfully I was
doing something that I that kept me
going that I really wanted to do and
then I've been doing all this way so you
you tell me I'm a superstar I'll take it
you're taking you tell me that you're
the biggest star you would be the
biggest story of this industry I'll say
probably yes and if you tell me that I
don't think that you're sir I like I'm
with you
hahaha so I don't care don't sue you
also said you don't know how much money
you have in your bank balance is that
true yes
no that are too much but I don't care
because okay no you don't know I don't
know or I also don't care I I don't know
because I don't care
does that make sense yes I know that I
that was that I can go about everything
that I want to do in my life
like I'll give you an example or I was
wearing the same thing in the gym for
like four five months and I was like
what are you doing you're a star Oscar
III and I was going and there was this
BMW showroom and I see this by its BMW K
1300 or I'm just planting so I look at
the bike and like wow and when I use
around thirty between thirty and forty
lakhs like this could just be a dream
for me fires back and it's like forget
the show itself by this and I bothered
so the times and whatever I tell myself
you know what
so chef's you're done you've done well
that's about it those are the things in
between much what keeps me going each
and every day in such an excited excited
such an excitement is this position you
know what what we see up so much
especially the media you know the Hindi
film industry and stars are covered
endlessly we read about you guys every
single day what we see is that part of
your life that is buying the 30 lakh
bike because you feel like it okay what
we see is the glamour is the red carpet
is all of that what we don't see really
is is the failure which is also very
public yeah um you you know you've had
films that didn't do well films that you
really put your heart and soul into like
you know Josh's yeah
Bill Gates which I love but you know not
many other people did you had you were
doing Barney with Shekar Kapur and after
months and months of prep and
conversation that project doesn't take
oh I know you said you gained from just
those conversations with shaker but that
night when you know it's not happening
or that Friday night when the film is
dead on arrival how do you move forward
how do you get
next Saturday morning and say I'm gonna
do it all over again I do it all the
time and trust me you all do it all the
time that that thing that I've the the
term that I use the impact bias that is
the thing no matter what your Friday is
when your film releases the next Friday
you'll come back to the same mental
state even if it's as a nice I think
it's an experiment that has been done
enough as many years
so a very successful good-looking guy
becomes paraplegic and a regular guy
wins a lottery so there is a huge spike
in in both the graphs and after six
months they come back to their neutral
position everybody of them so this is
what we do after so we overestimate the
impact that's going to happen if you're
successful or we fail why doesn't happen
like that and do you get sad or not even
that cause I just get fed all the time
because I look at the work I do normally
Dhoni is the only film that I when I
watched I was not watching the monitor
when I was shooting it I was just
looking at it and like why I'm good back
that's it before that when I used to
dump for the film I like oh I know that
you're pretending or you know you're not
that honest oh I could have done that so
yeah that's don't is the first time you
felt like you had acted yes you battered
yourself on the back I was smiling all
the time I like wow this is a way tricky
thing now when you don't know about a
character and I'm a very confident actor
I can convince you that this is what I
what I'm feeling but when you are the
way strong visual reference of a guy
who's immensely popular and then somehow
find a way that you're not imitating
you're not conscious that okay let me do
this so that people think that I'm
undoing or and also say you're honest
you have done your work so that you're
not thinking about all those
insinuations all the spontaneity that
people talk about so you feel it was a
way tricky thing for me and it happened
and a life you're a star yeah let's
agree
okay with that I'd like to open it out
to you guys um who has a question and
let's keep it to film people let's not
go into D monetization and things please
hi I am Nitti and I'm doing second year
Bamm so my question is what do you think
is more challenging working in films are
working for television equally
challenging and no challenge at all at
the same time because as I said if you
really like doing what you want to do
then you you are performing in front of
a live audience or a TV camera I don't
know what camera is that but I would do
the same so it's just that so no
challenge and equally challenging at the
same time paychecks are different I'm
Dave from fic C and my question is at
what age did you recognize your passion
for flims and was that one person you
want an acting graph like oh I think the
first time was not aware of it and then
the second time it happens the first
time when I thought when I enter this
College after slogging a lot and I look
around and like wow there are no girls
this is cheating that's the real reason
you quit engineering guys the thing I'm
gonna you I'm gonna you're told your
condition that one you'll be very
successful you get a good job and then
probably a nice good so you go over it
and you have successfully crossed two
levels of it and you look around and
they're like they're no girls to
actually tell you that you're so good so
like wow this is not done so one of my
very very close for he's still a very
close friend he told me that I can you
know what you should try and do join a
dance school or something because I've
heard that the way hot girls coming
there so like yeah I'll go for it and I
joined shamah and so all this amazing he
was just driven by women this was when
when I was not aware of my calling or
probably I was thinking it was some
other calling in that one of time but
when I
when they're not talking about girls
that's a different story but I realized
that wow I actually also like to perform
and that's why I'm sitting here and
answering your question the second
question oh yeah who's whose career
would you like to emulate um my career
twin um lighting I would like to be what
I want to be 20 years down the line so
if I get there I'll be very happy
there's one thing that I think a James
Dean said if I'm not wrong he said that
it's very hard to be a good actor it's
harder to be a good human me and I want
to be both before I'm done so probably
that well hello my name is Sonali and
I'm a second iam a Swedish student so my
question for you is as being a media
student we know the pros and cons of
media so I would love to know how do you
personally deal with criticism rumors
failures etc I love answer your first
thing I'm a criticism because of
failures and success successes are way
subjective and I'm way in that respect
but but I realize that even when I
insulate myself with these two things I
mean like criticism is something that
can actually bother you all the time so
I was like okay let me act in a way so
that they say the same thing that I'm
expecting but it doesn't happen all the
time most of the time it does it sounds
like okay so what's the other way so
reject me just completely cut off and if
I if you don't get to know what they are
saying you can imagine whatever you want
to be and that's how that's what that's
how I do it I call it a Teflon coating I
don't read newspapers I don't watch TV
Netflix good but I don't get to know
what people are saying until as you walk
up to me and say that you were bad or go
to whatever why not forget in next 10
minutes but that's it
hi I'm Misha and my questions actually
do an Obama mom so momma students of
media
I'm really curious to know what you feel
are the few qualities that a film
critique should possess and what you
should look at and just generally you
know um honestly uh I think the first
thing
Hritik needs to have is a great love for
cinema and not sort of selective all
cinema so that every Friday you go into
the theater feeling of feeling
optimistic I mean you've got walk in
thinking this one's going to be surely
ok there's you can't go in with cynicism
you can't go in with exhaustion you
can't go in fatigues thinking because
I'm mad at a filmmaker I know what it
takes to make a movie it's bloody hard
and nobody sets out to make a bad fur so
you've got to have that respect and love
for what you're seeing up on screen so
that's essential you want you know of
course you'll have things that you like
more than other things I mean I I'm not
I can't watch gore I can't watch blood
beyond a certain point I just can't do
it it I just shut off you know it just
freaks me out
um so you'll have those biases but but
overall you've got to be expensive in
your love for movies and um I think then
you have to have integrity I think
that's really key I I think you you must
be able to say what you actually feel
whether you piss off people and you will
I mean I do it every Friday I'm making
people mad all the time
that's what I do for a living but I have
to be honest to my response to a film I
can't lie I can't uh soften it because I
know someone or they're my husband's
friends or something like that I can't
do that so if you don't because if you
don't honest then there's no point I
mean all of us today are on social media
and everybody has a platform to express
an opinion box and my son Bob what makes
mine more special than anybody else's
you know so so I think I love a deep
deep deep love for cinema and integrity
of the two key things and then you just
keep watching and learning and writing
Susanne's last question is mine I wanted
to ask you one question
oh you wanna ask me a business I just
wanna be very intrigued I just want to
know uh anyway can you give me like that
truth I just want you please tell me
about all the fundamentals that you you
think are very important that you use to
read the film you know honestly for me
uh the first thing is really just
engagement uh I'm not somebody who's so
invested in technique or those are all
things that can I think a support your
primary thing but for me I'm old-school
its story character narrative if that
connects and and then the rest of it is
amazing then that's wonderful but I
think I would never sort of be seduced
by film because the photography is
amazing but the character is not so I am
I'm like really like just a basic front
venture where you could move the heart
everything is important when you feel it
when you feel gotta feed it so no but
last question is nine guys and I promise
you could have lunch after this what is
your mantra so Shawn what's the one
thing that you live by that we can leave
them all with uh I think if whatever I
have said I think when I was your age I
was thinking completely opposite I think
diametrically opposite but for that I
think I would say that there's one thing
that I really believe in and that says
he who thinks he can and he who thinks
he can't are both usually right so at
this point of time no matter what you
have what your present circumstances are
I'm just not concerned about that but if
you somehow make yourself believe that
is going to happen trust me it will
happen really surprised
thank you thank you so much if you like
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